Or you may click and play on SoundCloud
It is that time of the year where we sit down and rewind the whole calendar year and make plans and/or prepare to make “resolutions” for the one coming up. I am not going to talk about my resolutions (because I don’t make any at the “beginning” of any year. I make them whenever they are required irrespective of the calendar), but to review my life in 2016.
2016 was not a great year definitely, not a “good” year either. It was the result of many, if not all, of my worst decisions in the past (a few the then present ones too). Wait. Let me drop a disclaimer before I go any further.
Disclaimer: I blame no one but myself. I am not looking for sympathy. I am writing this because I want to write about it.
So, yeah. Not a good year. Nothing, literally NOTHING, of what I wanted to happen, no matter how hard I tried, happened. I went through A LOT of anxiety and depression resulting in anger management issues (I am already quite cranky by default. Sometimes. 😀 ), dangerous negative thinking, procrastination etc. Although I got over depression, anxiety still, to an extent, persists. And, completely irregular sleeping patterns, the inability to get myself to sit down and do something, and when I do sit down, the inability to focus and stop my mind from drifting away… *Shrug*
Then, what did I do? I told myself, “If I can let this happen to myself, I can undo it too.” So, I started meditating and yoga. It was not easy to just start off. Once I did start, I was not consistent either. On and off, on and off. But, they did help. I could see the difference in just two days of starting meditation; meditating for just five minutes. But, like I told you, it was and is difficult for me to just make myself to sit down and do any thing. (Even writing this post, completing this post.)
In spite of all this, at the end of the day, or should I say, by the end of the year, I am a survivor. I have got those survivor instincts. And, for you to survive, you have to battle. Did I win the battle? No. Not yet. But, I know I am on that exact path of winning. My shield is growing stronger day-by-day, my strategies are getting better. There are still those moments where I break down, almost completely, but then, I know I survive. And, that’s what prepares me to be the winner. I got over depression, I will get over with this anxiety. I know I will.